sometimes, i wish i was somebody else.
someone who isnt feeling what im feeling.
someone else who has much more to expect in life, to look forward to in life.
somebody who can always have a laugh and keep on smiling.


sometimes, i wish i am just a face in the crowd.
someone who goes about his daily life. who seems to be contented. who seems to be in control of himself.
someone who can cruise through life, relaxed..



but i am different. different good different bad i dont know. just different.
and thank God im different.


i fight these insignificant battles,
then i dont wanna be somebody else.
i love me but i dont love what im in.
i wanna have something to look foward to, having so much optimism and drive in life.
i wanna love me, love what im doing, love life.


but i dont wanna just be another face in the crowd.
thats never enough for me. i dont wanna be just content with myself..


i think im greedy.
but i only have 1 life to live. so if its not now, then when?
im 17, and thats already old. means i've got 17 years wasted. how much more do i have?
its my life. i cant blame myself for wanting more.
time's slipping away, life's slipping away.


this isnt right.
im not in what im supposed to be.
if theres a reset button i've would have done pressed it long ago.


whatever it is, im starting to have You in my thoughts.
its no longer as frequent as it was. but once in every while, You come up.
im done running away. im done avoiding You.
im sick of this lifelessness. tired.
im really sick of this.


because not knowing You is not knowing me.
and life's not easy because we both are not at ease.
You keep chasing, i keep running. till when, i still do not know.
all i know, is that im getting tired.


but im glad the weekends are near.
gonna put the heavy baggage down at the foot of the cross.
its been a long while.
reuse me.




living rain, pour again...

and so i'll sing a new song.